


Petrichor

by escapethenoodles



Category: Always Raining Here
Genre: All Over Again, Angst, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Hospitalization, M/M, Memory Loss, Rating May Change, fluffy af
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2018-07-27 04:51:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7604146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/escapethenoodles/pseuds/escapethenoodles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carter forgets Adrian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So needless to say, Always Raining Here doesn't belong to me, it belongs to the lovely Hazel and Bell!!  
> This fic is a continuation of one I wrote in the comments on page 215 of ARH, just after Adrian and Carter have fallen off a cliff thing and made up! This fic assumes all the stuff after that didn't happen (yet) and that Carter's injury was a little more severe than we'd all hoped.  
> //IMPORTANT!! If you're here just for the fluff and not the plot go to chapter 4 (I'll add more chapter mentions as the fic updates)

Carter wakes up in a hospital dorm, sunlight streaming through the curtains.

He sees a face looming over him, auburn hair illuminated by the slivers of light coming through the windows, warm brown eyes that remind him of a rainy day cuddled up in a blanket and cinnamon hot chocolate.

"Carter," rasps the boy's voice. It's hoarse, like he hasn't spoken in weeks. Tears start to stream from those chocolate-brown eyes of his.

"Carter, Carter, Carter," he repeats, "...finally, my Carter, my stupid idiot Carter, my Carter, Carter..." he continues, as if Carter's own name is his only salvation.

He bends down to put his damp cheek next to Carter's on the soft pillow, to share his warmth, to kiss his smile back to life.

"Carter," repeats Adrian.

"Who are you?" he replies.

 


	2. Tomorrow

She pulls his shaking body close.

"It'll be okay, shh, shh..." He's thin. She hopes he's been eating properly.

"No, no, no," he repeats, shaking his head into her shoulder. "No, no, no, NO!" screams Adrian.

Maria jumps. Strangers passing by turn their heads to see what the commotion is all about. Maria glares them away. Adrian never loses his cool. Not even when Carter was first hospitalised. Not even when the doctors told him he's in a coma.

"NO MARIA, IT WON'T BE OKAY! IT NEVER WILL! HE'S GONE, MARIA! MY CARTER IS GONE, CARTER, Cuh-Carter..." His voice breaks and his hands go to his mouth. His screams turn into whispers and his whispers turn into sobs and his sobs turn into coughs. Maria feels helpless. Adrian wasn't even this fucked up after David. _Well,_ she reasons, _it's understandable._ After all, this was his first proper relationship. Maria had even suspected it might be his last. Never in her wildest dreams did she expect it to turn out this bad.

"M-m-mari-"

"Shh... No need to say anything." She continues to stroke his smooth auburn hair. His face is buried into her soft chest and his hands grip onto her back until his knuckles turn white. It's as if he thinks that if he lets go, she'll fall away too. His tears dampen her grey shirt. His entire body vibrates at a higher frequency than it should, as if she has embraced a machine, not a human. It doesn't feel right. She wants to calm him down, but _how?_ Maybe Jason would know. She should call him up, two people would be better than one.

* * *

 

Adrian has stopped shaking, but the tears are still leaking. He's loosened his grip on her.

"I miss him so-" he gasps, "So much, Maria-ah..." He can't get the words out. "I just want my funny, goofy, silly Carter, the one who-who thought it would be a good idea to seduce me with streamers, who thought he could screw me in a library, who brought us home that day we were drunk, who-who used those stupid, cheesy pick up lines and saved you that one time, and saved me everyday, that Carter, not this one, no, not this one, this isn't my Carter, no, no, Maria..." he trails off into more "no's" and sniffles.

Maria wants to cry. She can't see him like this, small and broken. But she can't break down. This is his moment, not hers. She has to stay strong for him. She's all the ground he has beneath his feet right now, and if she can't keep her calm, everything will spiral out of control, further than it has already.

"Okay, _NO._ " She decides. She pulls him away, and turns him to face her. This is enough. "No more crying, you hear? We're past that. And this Carter? It's the same Carter! Carter hasn't left you! He's here, waiting for you. Yes, he may not remember you, but that's okay! You can make him remember you."

"M-mmh... B-buht... But the nurse... She said..." His eyes are a red, raw mess.

"Yes, I know what she said. That you can't force any memories onto him, that any mental stress can make his situation worse. But she never said he's a hopeless case either, did she? He's still able to recover, little by little, on his own! He's still in there, Adrian."

"I know. I know... They warned us, but I-I couldn't just believe them! They said he might not wake up! That he mightn't remember me if he did! But there was still hope, they said. There was still hope... And now there isn't even any of _that_ left. I'm gone. He doesn't remember any of me. Not even my name, Maria, not even my face."

Maria cups Adrian's face in her hands like a little child. She dabs at the wetness around his eyes with her shirt.

"But do you really believe that? Can you accept it and just move on? No one ever said there wasn't any hope, hun. There's always hope. You know what? I wouldn't be surprised if that _idiot_ of a boyfriend of yours fell in love with you all over again! Remember how he went after you back then? I'm tellin' ya, once that boy decided he wants something, he'll go get it. And it's not over yet, Adrian. He's not dead. He still loves you, he just doesn't know it yet."

Adrian has stopped crying. He sniffs, looks down at the floor, then up to Maria's face, then down again.

"...Thanks, Maria. And...uh, sorry." He breaks out into a smile. "It's not very... _manly_ of me to be crying."

"Hun, don't you even start. _I'm_ the man in this relationship." she teases, her eyes closed and her index finger raised in a matter-of-factly manner. Adrian laughs. Maria is glad he's back to normal. She never wants to see him like that again.

* * *

Maria walks through the dimmed lights of the hospital, beeping monitors and a stale, blanched smell suspended around her. Hospitals used to creep her out, but ever since Carter was hospitalised, she'd somewhat gotten used to them.

When Carter was first admitted, Adrian wouldn't do anything, talk to anyone. He wouldn't attend much school either, which was a pretty big deal at the time. All he did was study. He'd immerse himself in his books, he wouldn't look up from them. The odd times when he was present at lunch breaks, Maria would try to talk to him, but there wouldn't be much of a response, just a lot of empty eyes staring down at his untouched lunch. Not once had he gone to visit Carter, she found out from his parents.

However, all of this ended when Adrian was hospitalised. She knew he wouldn't eat at lunch, but she didn't know it was this bad. That was the first time she'd seen him cry since David. Silent, still tears rolling down his cheeks as he lay in his sickly white sheets. It broke her heart, but it was the first sign of emotion she'd seen from him in weeks. That was also the first time he went to see Carter. _Look what you've done to him,_ she thought. She couldn't help it. Adrian had been left battered and broken from the incident. She didn't even know how it happened, only that Carter was with him at the time. Adrian couldn't get the words out for the first few weeks.

It's been a year since then, and everyone is settling into college. Adrian is trying, but still struggling, not with grades but with communication. He stays by Maria's side most of the time, he won't leave her until it's absolutely necessary. Maria suspects he doesn't even have any friends in class. Just like Adrian wants his old Carter, Maria wants her old Adrian. And the only way to do that is bring Carter and Adrian together.

She passes a door; room 210, Carter's room. The windows are glass, and the curtains are pulled back. He must have forgotten to close them. Carter lies snoring on his bed, one arm outstretched near his phone and the other above his forehead. His legs are wrapped around the sheets, none of them actually covering his body. What a stupid way to sleep. He really is an idiot.

"Maria!" someone whisper-shouts. She jumps and turns.

"Ah, Jason!" she replies.

"I only just got your text, I'm sorry. Where's Adrian?"

"It's okay. He's asleep on the couch, we decided to spend the night here and meet Carter when he wakes up. Maybe he'll remember you, at least."

"Mhm," mumbles Jason.

He opens up a little and invites her into a hug. She waddles up to him and rests her head against his chest. She's pretty thankful for the hug, if she hadn't gotten one by the end of the day she probably would have cried. It's been a long day. Jason tightens his huge arms around her. His nose is in her hair, by her ear.

"A-are you _sniffing_ me?!" she exclaims, a little too loudly.

"N-no!" Jason laughs, but his pulse is now audible, faster than the beeping of the monitors and it's such an obvious lie. Maria grins.

"You big dork."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, I don't have an update schedule but I definitely know where his story is heading (for once) so I don't think I need one. Maria and Jason, that was a last minute thing I popped in there, I like the idea of Jason having a crush on Maria and Maria knowing about it but only liking him platonically, at least for now. Idk. It's just more cuteness ^^  
> Sorry for the depressing chapter, but I just had to clear the waters a little bit before I started the main story. I promise there'll be more fun!(But I can't promise no sad stuff either!)


	3. Winter

“My name is Carter Brooks. I am eighteen years old. My name is Carter Brooks. I am eighteen years old. My name is Carter Brooks. I am seven-fuck!-eighteen years old. My name is Carter Brooks. I am eighteen years old. My name is Carter Brooks. My name is Carter Brooks.”

Carter sits alone in his ward, practicing what he’s learnt. The psychiatrist told him he should repeat his name, his age, so that he doesn’t lose memory of what he has left. They still don’t know exactly what’s wrong with his head.

There’s no one else in the ward. Usually, there’s an old man in the bed next to him, on the other side of the curtain. He’s a lively old man, who wears socks over his trousers and has laugh lines around his eyes. He always laughs and refers to Carter as the ‘young lad who forgot half his life.’ That man forgot his wife yesterday.

Carter wants out of this hellhole. Not because of the smells, or the people. Not even the food, even though the food is pretty disgusting. He wants to go home, and see Rebecca, he misses her. He wants to see his girlfriend. What was her name again? Shit. He can’t remember. What kind of boyfriend doesn’t remember his girlfriend’s name? Are they even still together? He wonders what could have happened in those months that passed by without him even noticing.

The doctors say that he isn’t allowed to log back into any of his social media, or look through his texts, as they could trigger some sort of episode. Carter thinks they’re being ridiculous. There’s no way it’s _that_ serious. And anyway, when there’s WI-FI, why not make use of it? He pulls the IV from his arm, agonisingly slowly, and leaves it dripping on the floor. Rubbing the spot where it came out, he decides to lift himself out of his bed and onto the icy cold marble. The lack of socks make the temperature of the room prevalent. It’s _too-fucking-cold_ degrees out here. Pushing the cold from his mind, Carter shifts his weight off of the bed and onto his feet. Pain shoots up one leg and runs down the other.

“A-aah! Shit!” He wasn’t expecting this. He obviously hasn’t moved for very long. _One leg in front of the other. Okay. You can do this._ But as soon as his right foot touches the marble, a shiver runs up the back of his neck and down again, and then everything happens too fast. Losing control of the movement in his left leg, Carter’s knee bends involuntarily, leaving his right foot suspended in the air in front of him. And then he’s falling. He catches hold of one of the bars on his bed, just in time for the door of the ICU to swing open and a slight but strong frame gasps and runs to him.

“Carter,” it sighs, “What the hell are you doing?” The boy to whom the frame belongs pulls the handle of the bed from his grasp and his arm over his right shoulder. He drags Carter over to the side of the bed, where he pulls Carter’s other arm to rest on both of his shoulders and gently leaves him to sit down on the bed. Carter looks at him.

 _It’s the boy from earlier, the one who was crying,_ he thinks. _Why was he crying?_ His face is unsettling. Not unsettling as in scary, but another kind of unsettling. A familiar kind of unsettling. He can hear his pulse in his ears. Adrian. This is Adrian. That’s who the nurse said was waiting for him. Adrian, his friend. _Why was he crying though?_

“Carter,” he smiles, his nervousness evident on his face.

“Adrian,” he replies. Adrian’s eyes widen. His face lights up.

“M-my name? You remember?” he asks, his voice dripping with excitement.

“Uh… well… the nurse kind of told me,” admits Carter. Adrian’s face falls. A slight blush spreads across his cheeks to the ends of his ears. He sits down on the bed next to Carter. Carter feels kind of bad. A silence stretches for a few seconds, until Carter decides he has to break it. “So, uh… what happened? I haven’t been told yet.”

“O-oh really?” He stutters. “Well, you kind of… fell off a cliff? It was a pretty short fall, but enough to give you a concussion, I guess. It was the one near the tree- the treehouse,” he finishes. Neither of them look at each other.

“The treehouse? Really? That’s a pretty steep fall, I guess.” The treehouse though. He hasn’t visited in ages. Maybe he _had_ visited recently and forgotten. _Oh,_ he thinks bitterly, _that’s no surprise._ “Were you there? I mean, you seem to know a lot about where I fell.”

“Well, yeah,” he laughs, “I’m surprised the nurse hadn’t told you. I fell _with_ you.”

“Oh? Is that how you knew about the treehouse? I don’t think I’d told anyone about that place in years. I don’t even think my girlfriend knows.” Adrian didn’t reply to that. “Adrian? Adrian, what _are_ you to me?”

“I-I… I’m...” Adrian’s warm brown eyes fall to the floor for a few seconds. Then to the wall. Then back to Carter. Carter feels Adrian’s weight lift off the bed. He smiles, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. He looks down at Carter, with his unruly hair and empty eyes, looking up at him from the bed.

“I’m just a friend,” he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to: littlemissbunny, Garden-artka, Elbi_FandomFan and a load of others for reading!! Love youuuu~


	4. Youth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three words. Fluffity fluff fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my Gosh, thank you to everyone reading this fic and dealing with my shitty writing, I'm so grateful!!! *Throws hearts at your faces*
> 
> //Edit: I have been informed that Maltesers aren't a thing in America. I wouldn't be able to cope, jfc. Apparently the closest equivalents are "whoppers," you poor deprived children.  
> I considered changing the maltesers to skittles, but the idea was short-lived because I realised this trick doesn't really work with the latter.

The first thing I noticed were his eyes. Cold, empty eyes, lost for the first time since I'd known him. Those blue, empty whirlpools of darkness caused a hurricane in my mind, wet and turbulent, and eventually, before I knew it, the rain was leaking out of my own eyes.

* * *

 "Pffft," snorted Carter. He bent over and shook violently, silent tears wetting his eyes. "Aahahaha oh my God! Adrian you talented fucking weirdo! Haha, How the hell do you even do that?"

Adrian lay horizontally on the ruby carpet of his living room, in front of the couch which Carter had thrown himself over. A single malteser had been placed meticulously on his puckered lips. He blew on it. Softly at first, and then a little harder, and harder, until his cheeks were red, his lungs were hot and his malteser was suspended at a fixed point in the air above his mouth. Miscalculating the amount of oxygen remaining in his lungs, the air supply came to a sudden halt, and instead of falling into his mouth, the candy bounced off of his nose and slid onto his chest. Third time's no charm.

Carter cracked up. He came out in spurts of laughter, coughing and wheezing. He stumbled over to Adrian, who was also breathing irregularly (not due to laughter but breathlessness), crouched down and plucked the malteser from his chest to pop it into his own mouth.

"H-hey!" Adrian spluttered. Carter put his hand over his mouth and giggled, bits of candy threatening to pepper out of the sides of his mouth.

"First the Oreos, now this! Dammit Carter!"

"Fight me!" 

Adrian scrambled at the ground to get himself off of his backside, and Carter ran for the kitchen.

"GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW CARTER BROOKS."

"You sound like my mother, hahah-aah!"

Adrian tackled Carter against his counter and snatched at the bag of sweets. Carter's height gave him an unfair advantage. Adrian paused - looked up at the male in front of him - and smiled. He reached down and threw Carter's shirt up to his chest.

"Ooh, feisty aren't we?" he teased. Adrian just narrowed his eyes and launched himself at his sides, fingers wiggling. Carter's eyes widened for a moment as he processed the new stimulus and bit his lip to stop a giggle from bubbling up. "Not th-there-" He clamped his mouth shut to keep from snickering but the brunette sprung further forth. This wasn't a joke anymore. His precious maltesers were at stake. He brought his fingers down to Carter's waist and squeezed hard, and within seconds, he had him squealing and flailing so hard that his back slipped from the counter and he slid onto the floor of the dim lamp-lit kitchen. Feeling the plastic leave his hand, he shielded himself from Adrian's merciless fingers. His nose was turning red and the happy bubbly warmth in his lower abdomen was turning into a hazy heat dazing his thoughts - he knew he needed to get away, and soon. However, Adrian, cruel and thirsty for revenge, cornered him into the wall, now laughing along with his hostage.

"A-Adri-ah-quit-hah-pleahahah-"

"Hehehe, this is what you get when you mess with a Hlaváček!"

"Pffuh-haha-nnh-mh-!!" He couldn't help it. Just a bit... Adrian pressed his warm lips to Carter's smile, and pushed him back against the wall. Not having completely recovered from the tickles, Carter giggled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Adrian's neck, pulling him down onto his chest. He tasted like chocolate and his mouth on Adrian's made it taste even sweeter. Breaking away for a moment, he breathed:

"Hey, this is where we first..." He raised his eyebrows suggestively and smirked. Adrian's brow furrowed.

"Don't talk about that."

"Hahah."

"Shut up." He said, and roughly pulled Carter back in again, this time sliding his tongue against his. Now Carter didn't have his back to the wall, but was instead leaning over the brunette, his hands running up his spine and tracing his scapula as one of Adrian's knotted into Carter's dark hair. He pushed into Adrian and ran the tip of his tongue across the roof of his mouth. "Mmmh..." Adrian sighed into him. His brows furrowed as he arched his back into Carter. His warm brown eyes were shut but whenever he opened them to gaze at the male above him, Carter could almost _feel_ their heat radiating. Adrian's little noises mingled with the soft pulsing of both the rain and his chest. The heat below his abdomen flared further, and Carter knew this was as far as both he and Adrian could go, for now.

He slid his hands under the smaller human's Zelda tee and squeezed gently, trying to make sure not to squish any vital organs.  
Adrian gave a little squeak and parted lips with Carter's, the frustration evident on his face.

" _Caaarter,_ " he drawled. "Wh- ahahah, ah --stop!" The tables had turned. Now Carter was the one doing the torturing and Adrian was both trying to whack his hands away and tickle back at the same time. They both rolled over, a sniggering ball of giggles and fingers until they landed on the TV remote and the volume blared.

"Ahah, oops." snickered Adrian as he grabbed the remote, his eyes never leaving Carter's.

They pressed their foreheads together, giggling and panting before trying to untangle themselves but only ending up laughing more. Carter hovered over Adrian's face, traced his cheek, his grin wide and inviting, and inched his lips back towards Adrian's. His senses sharpening, adrenaline pumping, Adrian closed his eyes.

And felt a rush of cold air as something left his hand. The entire packet of maltesers. He grinned.

"HOW. FUCKING. DARE YOU."

* * *

Carter didn't remember me. I knew he wouldn't, but I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. I mean, how could you? Your one-day boyfriend falls asleep for an entire year without a hint of a warning, and you're expected to be completely fine? Either way, I called for him, called his name over and over, I didn't even know I was doing it until I heard the words tumbling out of my mouth in fragments and shards. The emotions spilled and pulled at the edges of my lungs. _Carter, Carter, Carter._ And, well, when he finally spoke for the first time, harsh and deep, the gentle pull of my heart turned into an all out tug-of-war. I was torn to pieces.

It's been a week and two days. My Carter still doesn't remember me. My stupid, idiot Carter. Who told you to fucking jump off that cliff in the first place? Why did you have to be such an idiot? _Why, why did you have to meet me?_

Maria says he'll remember eventually. Jason doesn't say anything. I think he knows. That he won't. I'm not gonna think too much about it. But honestly? I don't think he will either. I mean, Carter can't remember a word of the French language, a subject he's studied for what? Four years now? How would he possibly remember someone he hadn't known for more than a few months? It's okay though. It's not like I wanted him in the first place. He was the one pining after me, and only for my body, right? Right? He probably wasn't even... worth it... Goddamn it.

I need him here.


	5. Shallows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so firstly, apologies for the lack of updates these past few months - I've been getting a lot of messages complaining and all I can say is - Finals. It will be a while before I complete our adventure :9  
> I love you all for still sticking with me even though I've gone so long without an update.  
> Finally, I apologise for the lack of fluffity fluff here, but plot development is necessary ladssss~  
> PS: If anyone doesn't know the reference to the chapter names, I highly recommend looking up the band Daughter.

It's been two weeks. Jason and Maria visit less, but he's still here. He spends a lot of nights, and I don't think he sleeps most of the time. I'd tell him to go home and get some well deserved rest, that I'm fine and that he can leave me be, but It's honestly pretty lonely here. Even if we don't talk much, the surrounding silence is a respite for that unsaid. Sometimes I wake up to a molten wilderness of hair, his hand resting in mine. I thought it was strange in the beginning, and used to be extremely conscious of it, but I've now resolved to thinking that's just how he is. I mean, what else do you do if you're restricted from contact with the outside world? Even the internet isn't an option. Anyway, those are the days he's in a mood - Bags under his eyes and four litres of coffee a day. He gets really pissed off at everything. It's kind of funny, actually. Like the human version of a headache.

Last night, he came into my room. The nurse instructed me to go to bed early, so when the light from the door streamed in I pretended I was asleep. I don't think he knew I was awake. It was quiet for a while, and I heard the door click closed. But it wasn't long before I heard quiet sniffling. The soft bed shifted, and I felt someone's weight beside me. Honestly, I was terrified. But the sultry scent of cinnamon that the other body emitted was heavy and strangely recognisable. It gave me a - probably false - sense of reassurance. Their arm curled behind my back and their nose tickled my neck and I think my breathing quickened, but I wasn't so sure. After all, if there was a complete fucking stranger sleeping with you, who'd pay attention to details? I was ready to call for the nurses, but then I felt him, whispering in a low, familiar voice.

"My stupid Carter..."

Adrian. That was when it started to make sense. There was no way this "friend" was telling the truth. There was something going on. But I didn't push him away. A sadness had welled up in me, a feeling I thought I'd long forgotten. I took comfort in it. It felt like millennia since I'd last slept next to someone. He was warm, and I was cold. I didn't mind that much, surprisingly, once I knew it was just him. He already seemed upset, and I think I felt kind of sorry for him. Next time. I'll call the nurses next time.

* * *

I lie back on the feathery pillow and look up at the faded white ceiling. The doctors say that I've lost a year and a half's worth of memories. I forgot about half a year and was comatose for the rest. I had a concussion, albeit a serious one. They say they don't know if my memories will return, but pushing it may cause further deterioration. Well, I think that was the word. I'd be okay with that, I'm in no rush, but I'd really like to check my Facebook notifications. I wonder where my girlfriend is. I suppose after half a year of her boyfriend being unresponsive, her sex life would have gotten a bit boring, wouldn't it? That was all she really used me for anyway. I might sound a bit bitter, but she drunkenly confessed she was only using me as a fucktoy last year. Anyone would be mad, but being the stupid hopeless romantic I am, I thought maybe she'd reciprocate eventually. So much for that.

Rebecca visited with my parents the other day. She stayed the night and got collected the next. We chatted away till sunrise, and for some reason, she had a lot of questions about - of fucking course - Mister Adrian Hell-Lava-Sex. It was probably an accurate description of his hair, though, a blazing red bed head that refuses to calm down. The doctors say he's listed as a friend, but even I'm not that stupid. Friends of a patient don't have this much freedom in and out of the rooms as he does - he's got even more freedom than Jason does! I wonder if he's like, my secret half-brother or something. Maybe we were twins separated at birth. Gosh that would be cool. I wonder if we can use telepathy.

I sit on the edge of the bed and put my hands to my ears.

"Calling Adrian. Please respond."

"..."

"Hello?"

"... Hey."

"AAAARGH!" Jason leans against the doorway with a sneaky smirk. "How long have you been standing there?"

"How long have you been talking to yourself?"

"I wasn't talking to myself!" He made himself comfortable on the bed beside me.

"Yeah, right. Anyway, how're you feeling? Any news?" I laughed dryly.

"News? Well I have news for you, Keller, the only exposé I get here is rumours of who the nurses are screwing." He laughed.

"Well whoops! But anyway man, you feeling better? How's Adrian?"

"I wouldn't know. He came in one night last Saturday and hasn't come in since."

That was a lie.

"Really? Because whenever Maria rings up his house his parents say he's out meeting you."

Damn.

"Well, maybe I just haven't noticed him." The playful expression on Jason's face turned to one of a cocktail of amusement, concern, and an emotion resembling regret.

He knew.

"Hey," I began, "What do you know about Adri-"

"OH MY GOD CARTER YESSSSSS!!!!"

Both Jason and I froze as Maria swung across the door frame and took the room by storm.

"JESUS CHRIST MARIA WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU! YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME!" roared Jason.

"DON'T YOU TAKE THAT TONE OF VOICE WITH ME BOY. ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M HERE WITH GOOD NEWS!"

"Good news? What good news?"

"Carter!" She turned to me, "You can go home!"


	6. Home (pt.1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carter goes Home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIII MY LOVELY PPL ok so I AM SO FREAKIN SORRY FOR THE FREAKIN LIKE, YEAR?? I WAS GONE RIP LIKE OMJFC  
> I was busy studying for my Finals, and made it into Medical School!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOHOOO
> 
> Med school is obviously deathly busy, so it's been pretty hard to commit to other things really easily - but even though ARH has been finished for so long (IT WILL ALWAYS BE ALIVE IN OUR HEARTS *SOB*) I'm definitely gon finish it!!
> 
> Surprisingly, this fic still gets attention every now and then, and also I like writing new chapters and ideas in my own time, so LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN <3333
> 
> <3 and Comment to keep me motivated LOL I LOVE YOUS XXXXXXX

He was confined for so long that home feels no more familiar than his dorm. As he slides his index across the rough wall of the porch, a new feeling of immense nostalgia washes over him, unrecognizable. How many days has he lost sitting there? The poppy red exterior of the house contrasts with the popsicle blue of the sky. Carter wonders if anything has changed in the last two years. If his room is the same. If anything has happened to the treehouse. He hasn't visited there since his childhood, but the thought penetrates his conscience. For a sense of, who knows, resolution? Either way, it's now or never, so he pushes open the mahogany door expecting all but nothing.

 _"WHOA!"_ Carter iss sent flying backward by a huge lightning-fast shadow and his face is assaulted with a rough, sandy tongue. A dog! His heart fills up with fluffy emotions only the embrace of a dog can give you.

"AWWWW WHOSAGOODBOIWHOOOOO" he fluffs up his shaggy black hair, reminding him of his own and the dog's dark snout burrows into Carter's face.

"Oh Carter, baby..."

Carter looks up to see two blue eyes that match his own, coupled with a youthful face and inviting arms.

"Mum!"

He untangles himself from the dog and bundles himself into his mother's arms.

"You're okay," she says, tears in her eyes, her face in his hair.

"You look like you haven't aged a day," he teases.

"The wonders of hair dye!" she chortles.

Carter's mother tells him what he'd missed out on while leaving out the parts he had forgotten himself. A lot had happened in his absence. Carter's mum hadn't been able to see him in the hospital because she'd fractured her knee. She was the one who insisted they let him go, so she could see him. Carter's dad, on the other hand, has been working overtime to pay for Carter's hospitalization. Carter takes a mental note to try to work that guilt off himself. Meanwhile, Rebecca is busy studying for exams, so a dog fills the silence. He's twelve weeks old, too big for his age, and his name had _almost_ been Carter.

"Hey! Don't replace him with a dog!" retorts Rebecca.

"We were going to change it back once you woke up, promise!"

So they named him Adrian.

Carter stands there, stunned.

"What...?"

"We were in a rush," she laughs. Carter doesn't think it's very funny.

"Why... why Adrian?"

"You know, you were with him all the time," she says quizzically, "and we were too used to Jason... but who knows what happened to Jessica, it's as if she disappeared off the face of the earth! She didn't even come to see you. Sorry to ask, but did something happen to you two?"

"Maybe something did, though I wouldn't know," Carter replies solemnly.

His mother's face falls an inch, and she hurriedly changes the subject.

"It's OK. How about you go take a walk for a bit, hmm?" She pats his back. "I'll get dinner ready."

* * *

 

It's been a while since Carter was allowed out on his own. The hospital requires volunteers to accompany their patients outside the premises at all times, which meant Carter had no alone time apart from in his room, which was monitored as well. He thought he would feel liberated, free. However, there's only a looming sense of dread at the thought of him being on his own for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. Some people expect that being in a coma would be full of nothingness, obsolete. But Carter actually remembers some of the strange or eerily ordinary dreams he had. Conversations in his head - with others, with himself, but none of them were ever self-aware. Some conversations were about medication, or doctors and nurses, implying some of the conversations around him were translated into his own delusions. There was an instance where Carter dreamed that he was upside down and was unable to get back up - clarification post-waking showed that Carter was actually getting his sheets changed. There was so much more, but the memories only returned with time.

Carter takes in a sharp breath as the rooftop of the treehouse comes into view. It's just as he remembered it. Apart from the overgrowth of ivy, the house has retained its color and atmosphere and Carter feels like a kid again. Everything has changed, but this is the only constant. He approaches it, and it makes him feel safe. The two rear windows watch him like two omniscient eyes and the ladder rolls out of the door like a tongue, mocking him.

The first touch of a cold metal rung runs through his body like a shock, through his spine and up to the tips of his ear. Ecstatic! Cicadas chirp and the sun makes a rare appearance for the first time in ages. Amongst the excitement, however, there's a lingering loneliness, a feeling that reminds him that no one is next to him. It's okay, though. It always is.

"..."

As soon as his heart drops, the wind picks up a voice.

"CAAAAAAAARTEEEEEEEEEEER! CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTEEEEEEEEEEER _FUCKING_ BROOOOOOOOOOKS!"

_"Jesus fuck"_

Carter can make out a figure in the distance, an angry red-headed blaze in the sun, screaming in his direction with all his might. It's as if its voice itself is enough to blow it's little body back. The image starts running towards Carter, and he takes a step backward, not sure if the voice is threatening him or pursuing him. He makes his decision and scrambles up the ladder behind him, pulling it back up behind him to avoid the intruder entering.

"OI! GET DOWN HERE YOU IDIOT, WE'RE NOT HAVING ANOTHER INJURY"

Another injury? Carter thinks. He fell from here? He wonders if he'll be able to remember anything if he actually does fall again. _No,_ he thinks, _that would be_ too _cliché._ He sticks his head out the window. The redhead's face is finally visible. He's huffing, the color of his cheeks as bright as the mess on top of his head. Carefully, Carter lowers himself from the treehouse and jumps down, crouching at the impact of the fall.

"You.... YOU FUCKING IDIOT! What if something had happened to you? God..." Adrian spins around with his hands on the back of his head. Carter feels the urge to laugh. Maybe it's the adrenaline? Or the fact this child looks like he was about to burst? 

_God, he's cute when he's mad._

_Wait, what?_

 

"Chill, dude."

"What do you mean chill?!" Carter didn't think he could get any redder, but his face flushes further, almost to the point of concern.

"Hahaha."

"Oh. My. GOD. Get over here right this second so I can fucking whack your arse back to the hospital!"

"Abuse!" teases Carter, but he tentatively approaches him.

"God," breathes Adrian, and does the last thing he could possibly imagine.

 

 

 


	7. Home (pt.2) / If you love someone, don't let them go.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while! I'm still alive! I will not let this go xooxoxo

Adrian’s heart is racing dangerously fast. The combination of running so far and having Carter so close to him in so long made him feel like he's going into cardiac arrest. And this stupid idiot thinks it's a joke. “What the fuck where you thinking?!” He buries his face further into Carter’s navy scarf. “I was so worried, how could you do that to me? Fuck!”

Carter doesn’t say anything.

The smaller boy breathing heavy into his neck was shaking, visibly trying to stop his tears. _Whoa,_   _I didn’t mean for him to be so upset._

Carter slowly raises his arms to pat the boy’s head, awkwardly at first, but as Adrian starts to relax, he just lets his arm rest around his shoulders.

“You alright?” asks Carter.

“Yeah…” Adrian starts. “Sorry.”

“Mind if I ask…” Carter pauses. What if Adrian can’t say? The doctors _had_ told him that a lot happened over the year he was out and that he couldn’t ask too many questions about his past for his own good. “Is it something I can’t know?”

Adrian looks a little taken aback.

“No! no, it’s just… this is where you fell. Do you, uh, remember it?”

Carter looks up at the treehouse. There aren't any strange or uncomfortable memories associated with it - if anything it just feels like a safe haven to him. The same as when he was younger. The spark is still there, just diluted a little bit.

“Nah. I still like this place. Reminds me of when I was younger. Jason and I would spy on teenagers that passed through the woods and attack them with water balloons – The last time we were here, I went out to get us ice cream in a cone, and while I was coming back Jason thought I was someone else and went on the offensive! The ice cream was everywhere! God, you should have seen my mum’s face when I got back!” he laughs, and they talk and talk till their words ran out. Adrian babbles brightly alongside him, his laugh a bubbling sparkling soda pop. They walk back to the house together, any trace of awkwardness between them had left long ago, along with their apprehensions.

 

“Oh, Laura!” Adrian shouts when he reaches the door. Laura is Carter’s mum’s name.

“Leave the dishes alone and sit down for a bit, I’ll come help!” Carter wonders when Adrian became so comfortable with his mother as to help out at home. As Adrian leaves his side to go inside, Carter relaxes a bit and comes to a stop just outside the red door. He raises his hand and looks at it. He can still feel the soft flush of hair tickling his fingers.

“Carter!” shouts Laura. “Look at your friend working away while you stand there like an oaf, come help!”

Adrian turns back from the sink and his eyes make contact with Carter’s, inviting and playful. He grins and subconsciously bites his tongue between his teeth, turning just in time for him to miss the touch of pink on Carter’s cheeks.

 

Fuck. This was not what he expected. 

 

* * *

 

Fuck. This was not how he wanted it to go down.

 

Adrian lies in bed, watching faded yellow lights from passing cars moving on the wall. He's in the Brooks’ family guest bedroom, a cream-colored regal style room with younger pictures of Carter’s grandparents adorning the walls. Carter’s granddad looked a lot like him, from the startling dark hair to the sharp jawline. ( _Damn_ , thinks Adrian, _that’s where he gets it from._ ) Adrian remembers tracing that jawline with his digits, feeling the curve of his boyfriend’s face and the feeling of it lift upwards as he’d break out a foolish grin.

 

After dinner, Mr. and Mrs. Brooks suggested Adrian stay over at their house. Carter, who looked a little startled by the suggestion, agreed out of hospitality and they decided to let Adrian stay in the guest bedroom, despite his parents being aware of how much time they used to spend together in his room anyway. They were being cautious, it seemed. Gentle nudges towards his memory, nothing much but they could make a huge difference.

 

Sometimes, at times like these, Adrian wondered why he was so hell-bent on waiting for Carter. Any normal person surely would have let go by now, it was so much effort to keep loving someone who didn’t remember you. No, more like, it was so much effort to keep up the act of NOT loving him. The loving part wasn’t even the hard bit.

 

Carter was just another boy he hardly noticed in school to say the least. There was nothing that connected them before he asked him out, he almost didn’t even know his name. It was all a coincidence. But Carter wouldn’t let go. The days passed, and Adrian grew more self-aware of his developing… Stockholm syndrome? He realized that unlike anyone else he had dated, Carter didn’t care about appearances. He didn’t care about the fact that he was gay,  or any other imperfections. He literally just cared about the fact that he was horny. Adrian smiled into his pillow. But even that was just a phase. Once he realized Adrian wasn’t going to give in, he decided to stick with him anyway, which Adrian reluctantly became more and more okay with. And instead of asking to fuck him, started treating him as a friend. Or something more than a friend. And once all that was over was when they started their relationship, albeit hesitantly. But, Adrian thought, the connection they had built in such a short time was unlike any other he’d ever experienced. Yeah it started out sketchy, but it became so integral to him that he felt like he couldn’t breathe without it. Carter was his hope, his summer and the only hand that wouldn’t ever let him go. And then it did, but that wasn’t Carter’s fault, but his own. Maybe he was overly obsessed. After all, he _had_ loved him. Like, a lot. Though they hadn’t actually said it to each other, and now would it ever happen? Either way, he isn’t going to give up. How could he call it love if he's just going to leave him? If you love someone, don’t let them go.

 

With that thought in mind, he drifts gently off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Carter stands at the window, watching traffic and strange people pass by the midnight glow of street lights. Leaving the hospital feels like such a huge change, like he’d been locked up for an eternity.

 

“What’s going on?” he breathes. It's 3 am in the middle of the night and he’s just woken up from a strange dream. He was in English class when the teacher turned around and revealed her face, confusing Carter.

“Don’t you DARE break his heart,” she threatened, peering at him over her comical glasses.

“Maria? Huh?” he said. “What do you mean?”

“What do I mean?! Out, now! To the principal’s office!”

“What the fuck?!” He looked at Jason, but Jason was making heart eyes at the Teacher.

“Oh, you’re so fucking _hot_ when you’re mad,” sighed Jason.

He glanced at Rebecca but she was on her phone under the desk, as per usual. Carter sighed and got up, it wasn’t the first time he was going to the principal’s office.

 

He knocked on the door.

“Come in.” Carter pushed the door aside and saw the back of a chair. With a laugh, the owner of the chair comically swiveled it around, as if he was the villain of a James Bond movie. But the person sitting in the chair wasn’t their short, slightly pudgy fuzzy-headed principal, it was a youth with a black shirt, milk-soft skin and gentle but fiery waves in his hair.

“Adrian?!”

“Excuse me? Where are your manners?” Carter was confused.

“…Sir?”

“Hm,” Adrian sounded, smiling and raising out of his seat. He slowly got up, his body moving like a snake and his eyes looked down at Carter. His pupils overshadowed the rest of his irises, making an almost lustful look. Carter shifted uncomfortably in his seat. _This was Adrian? The same guy who cried in his arms that morning? Wait, that morning? Was thi-_

“Ah!” Carter cried. Adrian had walked behind him and pulled Carter’s head back with his hair.

“You've been disrupting class, hmm?” he said in a low voice. Carter could feel the voice humming closer and closer to his ears until it was all he could hear, all he could focus on.

“Stop…”

Carter felt Adrian’s tongue slide against his ear and start nibbling on it. Instead of pulling at his hair, Adrian’s hands moved to the side of his head and played with it instead, curling it around with his fingers. Carter’s heart leaped, and his temperature rose. He didn’t expect it to feel this… _good._

“ _Fuck,”_ he subconsciously craned into Adrian.

 **“I’m gonna have to tie you up, aren’t I?”** Adrian mocked.

Carter felt a painful convulsion run down his spine. Those words didn’t come from Adrian right here and now. They were pre-recorded, playing on the speaker throughout the school.

 **“Nooo!”** he heard his own voice, half in fear and half amusement.

_Wait, what?_

He jumped in his seat and there was no one around him.

“Adrian? Adrian!”

 

“Adrian!” he jumps awake. His heart is racing, and his hazy memories from the dream are slowly coming back to him. The doctors said to keep a dream journal for his condition, so he obediently jots down everything that had happened, cringing in embarrassment when he gets to the… weird bits. He'd had dreams like this before, even with guys, but he'd usually ignore them - but this? How is he supposed to face him after this dream? It was too vivid to be just a normal dream. He shakes his head.

He and Adrian are supposed to be good friends, right? But there's this strange tension between them – it makes things just a little bit awkward, though it seems only to be coming from Adrian's end. _I mean, I’m trying my best to treat him as a friend._

Throughout dinner, Adrian didn’t once focus on his food, and Carter had to maintain intense eye contact with his soup to avoid accidentally making eye contact with Adrian. It was kind of uncomfortable sometimes, and he wished Adrian would just relax. Maybe he'll talk to him about why, tomorrow, ask him if he’d done anything wrong while they were friends.

 _Yeah, maybe tomorrow,_ he thinks, his eyes following lights through glass.

**Author's Note:**

> I love reading your comments so if you do, I'll love you forever :D


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